I found a book called This Time I Dance by Tama J. Kieves. The subtitle is Trusting the Journey of Creating the Work You Love.
I feel as if I've been sick for many years, and just got the diagnosis. All the inexplicable things I have been doing and feeling and thinking are starting to sense... or nonsense, as the case may be.
It's true, I could never get enough of a substitute. I've liked that saying for a long time, but did not see the deeper sense of how it applied to me.
Now I am beginning to see the pattern: time spent reading novels, time on the computer, time buying food, clothes, trinkets, hunting for bargains, time in regret and anger and frustration, time being confused. Sure I was confused - I couldn't face myself!
As a child, I had a period when I'd sing "Somewhere over the rainbow..." over and over again. Remember the ending? - "Birds fly over the rainbow, why, then, oh why can't I?"
After a lot of false starts, finding names that were already in use, I found this one - Rainbow Swimming. It's what I will be doing.
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